The Time

If you are supposed to meet friends for brunch at 10am and you show up fifteen minutes late you may get an eyebrow raise or a glance at the wall clock.

If you show up a half-hour late you will likely get a curt “we already ordered”, and little eye contact.

If you show up an hour late, don’t be surprised if they reach for their coats and ignore you altogether. You will not be met with a hearty slap on the back or a smile.

You will not be welcomed by wait staff, who asked a handicapped pensioner to move his canes to make room for your table for three, which they didn’t even end up needing because you showed up so late! Even the pensioner is now waving his cane at you in disgust.

Obviously the ancient Egyptians are responsible. They invented the twenty-four hour clock, and thus paved the way for tardiness. The Romans are thought to have invented the sundial, which gives a little more leeway in regard to brunch times, especially when it is overcast.

But obviously a sundial, powered by the Sun is much more reliable than your plastic, Timex wristwatch that you got from your parents for Christmas in 1992.

They say, “Time is money”. That’s what they say. You’re not sure that your friend’s time is actually worth money, as they are currently unemployed. Perhaps a small gesture would bring a smile to her face? You hand her a breath mint.

They also say, “There is no time like the present”. Someone later added, “Time is a gift and that’s why they call it the present”. You just gave your friends some time, and they should be thankful for every second they are alive. Which is more than you can say for Uncle Carl.

What about, “Time flies when you’re having fun”? The hour might have felt more like 55 minutes because they were having so much fun. Pouring syrup, opening creamers, and eating bacon is fun and everyone knows it.

“Time is of the essence”. If we want to understand this phrase accurately and see it not as call to be punctual, but merely as a suggestion of the validity of time itself, we must look at its origins. The word is Latin from the 14th century. Therefore, we can all declare it to be an antiquated term, which holds no relevance in today’s modern society.

Time is only essential is all you all agree what time it is. If you follow the Chinese calendar, live in Newfoundland, or have a Timex wristwatch with a dead battery, you may have an uphill battle to fight. I encourage you to take up your arms, but not literally.

Double-knot your shoelaces: You are in a race against time.

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