The Ring

The custom of exchanging rings while taking the marriage oath has been around for centuries. It is an enduring symbol of fidelity: monogamy, faithfulness, and loyalty. Sometimes known as “bling-bling” or simply “bling”, wedding rings are generally studded with diamonds and worn on the fourth finger of the left hand.

People want to get married. They want to know there is someone who will love them and cherish them, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until their death.

But really it’s about the ring, isn’t it? It doesn’t matter what the guy looks like. If you have a ring on your finger, and especially a really big ring, it means that somebody wanted to give you a really big ring.

It is a well-known fact that the size of the diamond in the wedding ring is in direct relation to the amount of love the giver has for the recipient. If the diamond is small and subdued, the marriage is thought to be, “a flash in the pan”. And, if the diamond is chunky and sparkling, the marriage is fail-safe. Both parties will live a long and prosperous life together: happy as clams.

But what if nobody is giving you a big diamond ring? What then? Are you going to be content wearing a ring on your index finger? Probably not. Your pinky? No way. Your thumb? Get serious.

You could always follow a recent trend: wear a wedding band and pretend to be married. All the benefits of being married (the bling), without the hassle and inconvenience of actually being married.

Women are wearing these large diamond (see: cubic zirconia) “wedding rings” in order to detract men. They say they want to go out to a club or restaurant with friends and don’t want to be bothered by hapless males looking for a hook-up. They don’t want to be hit on. They don’t want to make conversation. They want to be left alone.

So they wear their big, fake rings with: high heels, short skirts, push-up bras, and low-cut tops with their business hanging out.

They do not appreciate getting any unwanted attention from men. Hello! She has a ring on her finger. Don’t you know what that means? Can’t you take a hint?

In all fairness, if these women were concerned or bothered by unwanted male attention, perhaps a turtleneck sweater worn over a supportive bra would hinder any ogling from the opposite sex. A nice pair of slacks with some comfortable orthopedic shoes would also allow for hours and hours of cavorting with their best lady pals.

And maybe they wouldn’t have to bother with the rings at all…

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