The Glass

Some people will see a glass sitting on a table or in someone’s hand: a glass that has clearly been drunken from (or its contents compromised), and considers it half-full. Those people are called Optimists.

Optimists expect a good outcome, to everything. They are quite positive that things will turn out positive, unless that would be a negative. For instance, when an optimistic person goes in for a blood test (perhaps to detect a serious medical condition), a positive result might actually be a negative. Then, I believe, they would be positive about a negative.

A pessimist is someone who expects a realistic outcome. They realize that not everything turns out for the best. They know that bad things happen to good people, and vice versa. For instance, when a Pessimistic person goes in for a blood test (for something like a blood test to detect a serious medical condition), they might expect a realistic outcome. They might prepare for the worst. Pessimists might do the sensible thing and draft a will, outlining their post mortem wishes. They might also sign an organ donation declaration, but then realize that doctors are less likely to save them and will hurry to sign the death certificate in order to harvest their organs.

Optimists would drink from a cup that is “half-full” and expect not to pick up a communicable disease, like Meningitis, Chlamydia, Cryptosporidiosis, Syphilis, or Hepatitis A, B or C. Pessimists would likely not pick the glass up, as its contents look to be compromised. They are realistic about their own mortality.

Optimists have their own organization: They pay monthly fees and participate in charitable community events. Pessimists know that organized organizations charge outrageous fees, and that all “meetings” are always on weeknights, leaving them completely exhausted the next day at work.

Optimists always have a giant, goofy grin on their faces.  Whereas, Pessimists have a natural range of facial expressions: content, smug, angry, and the like. They have full use of their facial muscles, and communicate messages with their body language.

Pessimists are realistic, cautious individuals that need a reason to get excited about something. Optimists seem to be missing something, like half a brain.

When rats in a laboratory thought positively, the results were negligible. When they thought negatively, they died of natural causes. Now I’m not saying that this incredibly scientific study proves anything, but it was done in a laboratory and I think that says something.


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