The PVR

The PVR is the greatest thing since sliced bread. For those of you who don’t know, come out from under that rock and behold: the Personal Viewing Recorder, a device that records television programming for playback at your convenience. I don’t think I would be going too far to say the PVR has forever changed the course of history.

Before we go on I must clarify the difference between a PVR and a VCR (Video Cassette Recorder), as perhaps you may not fully appreciate the difference. The VCR was a device that used large cassettes for copying television programming. The VCR included the function for recording and playback, though neither was achieved without studying the manual in great detail, and extreme frustration: setting the clock or setting the timer to record a program took a level of intelligence most of us cannot comprehend.

So rather than suffer a loss at the hands of our VCR, we would opt to be home in time for our favourite television programs, even if it meant leaving the party early, “forgetting” to show up for jury duty, or choosing not to run for elected office. We would often look at the fall television line-up and correlate it with our plans for the month. We simply could not miss the season finale of Lost or the season premiere of The Bachelor (right, dear?).

But no more! Now, with the PVR you simply turn on your television, check local listings, select a program, and press record. The PVR knows the start and end time of your programming and will record as required. So you can feel free to leave the house and proceed with your lofty ambitions.

When you return from your appointment, errand or the primary election, your show will be waiting for you, and can be viewed at your leisure. Is Grandpa always phoning during American Idol? Simply press “pause”, and Simon Cowell will be there when you press “play”. Don’t like being sold something you don’t need in the form of those annoying Slap Chop commercials? There’s a button for that! It’s called “skip” and it will skip ahead 30 seconds. Do that five times and you will be back to your regularly scheduled programming!

The convenience of the PVR is rivalled only by the birth control pill, as both will increase your sex life ten fold. If your husband is like mine, he loves to put the moves on you during the last ten minutes of Dancing with the Stars. Well, don’t push him away! Sex is good for your emotional and physical well-being. Press “record” (the red button on the remote) and record the rest of the program. Easy! Not you, the recording function.

I think we can all agree that the PVR is the greatest invention of the 21st century, and will be hailed along with the “wheel” as one of the most important and revolutionary inventions of all time.

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One thought on “The PVR

  1. Alison says:

    Oh Kimmy!! So true! And thanks for the Lost shout out. Have I shafted you too many times!! Alas, don’t ask to make plans on Feb 2nd(groundhog day) as it’s the Lost premiere and I’m not lucky enough to have a PVR!!

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