The Jugs

My mother called me to tell me she had her jugs appraised recently for $1000 each. She went to the mall and apparently they had a man there looking at things (like jugs), so she let him check them out. They are old jugs to be sure, but they have held up very well over time. She was very pleased to find out what they are worth.

My mother knew he was going to be there for a few days so she told him she would be back the next day with her knockers. As soon as she got home she got her knockers out, and made sure they were spotless. She went back to the mall the next day and marched right up to the man with her knockers out, so he could get a good look. He was very impressed, and mother was ecstatic. He asked if mother had anything else to show him, and she said, “Just you wait!”

Mother knew she had a bust around somewhere. She just needed to find it. So she went down to the basement and removed a few articles of clothing she had covering the bust. She was delighted to see that the bust was still in excellent condition, and she was very curious about what the man at the mall would say.

Mother approached the man with a big smile on her face, holding her bust in her hands. He squealed with delight, as everyone knows no man can resist a lovely bust. He held her bust in his hands for a few minutes before he could even speak. He said her bust was extremely well moulded.

Well, that was all it took to get mother very excited. She knew she had a chest that would surely spark his interest. As soon as she got home she dusted off her chest and rubbed some oil on it to give it a nice sheen. She got up bright and early, had her morning mimosa, and took a taxi to the mall.

The man took a long time examining her chest. He ran his fingers over it and then told mother how much he liked it. He said that any man would be a fool not to appreciate a chest like that. Mom blushed and returned home.

Mother was doing laundry when she remembered her rack. She was curious to see if her rack would interest the man at the mall. She had started to wonder if it was even worth having.

The man was, of course, delighted to see mother’s rack. He oohed and aahed, and asked coyly if there was anything else she hadn’t shown him. She thought for a minute, and then said that she would encourage my father to come to the mall tomorrow, to show the man his junk.

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