The Bum Cup

This is a thing.

It’s not a pinch or a grab. It’s a gentle lift, or “cup” of the buttocks.

It’s the way that I say hello and goodbye… if I love you (and if I love your bum).

In the Hawaiian language Aloha means hello and goodbye. It also means affection, peace, compassion, mercy.

The bum cup is my Aloha.

I’m really glad I’m not a member of the Iranian soccer team (and not just because they live in Iran). Two members of the team were given fines, suspensions and banned indefinitely from entering soccer stadiums after an “immoral celebration” of a goal, which included a bum cup. 

Personally, I don’t believe a good, old-fashioned bum cup is immoral or weird. It is simply a salutation, much like a handshake or high five (or, “low-five” for the buttocks).

In sports, athletes often slap each other’s hindquarters enthusiastically. This is a common practice. 

You may be wondering, why is it okay for amateur and professional athletes to slap or cup each other’s bottoms, and not for everyone else?

That’s a very good question. (You went to college, didn’t you?)

In my humble opinion, it should be okay for everyone. 

A butt slap or cup amongst buddies is a quick and easy way of communicating… “Hey you!”, “Nice goal”, “Nice bum, where you from?” or “Have you been working out?”

Although it is a widely accepted practice amongst athletes, sometimes (sadly), they don’t always get the aloha they so desperately need and want from their teammates. For LeBron James, this meant that after a particularly good goal, he was forced to slap his own bottom. 

I sympathize with LeBron. I hope (and pray) that the day never comes when I am forced to slap my own bottom after a good goal (and while I don’t play amateur or professional sports, I would never rule it out). 

Luckily, I have a group of friends (you know who you are) that understand and appreciate my method of communication. To them, I say… Aloha. 

***

Much like good coffee, it’s love… in a cup.

 

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