The Smoker

So, I’m walking down the street, minding my own business, drinking a smoothie that I just purchased from the aptly named “Da Juice Bar”, and I get that thing where the fruit is sort of tart/sweet/acidic and I start coughing a little.

This was not a big cough. In fact, “cough” might not be the right word for it… It was more like a vocal throat tickle, or maybe an ahem. It can best be described as: an audible clearing of my larynx. No big deal.

What I didn’t realize was that while I was walking down the street (minding my own business, drinking a smoothie) a Smoker was walking in the opposite direction.

The Smoker passed me as I audibly cleared my larynx.

She was female (as you may have expected), past her prime, pale, thin, sickly (as you may have expected), and she looked like life had dealt her a bad hand (assorted low cards and a few jokers).

She was smoking (as you may have expected) but I’m not one to judge.

I mean, yes, smoking is disgusting and it will definitely kill you and others around you, and it’s a huge waste of money, as well as a huge burden on society as a whole what with the second-hand smoke, ozone, tar pits, etc.… But as I mentioned previously, I’m not one to judge.

Live and let live… That’s what I always say (unless I’m talking about spiders).

So (as I mentioned), I’m walking down the street (minding my own business, drinking a smoothie, clearing my larynx) when I hear these two words:

“Real subtle!”

I turn around (because that’s what I do when people make a noise that I don’t expect and I want to see where it’s coming from), and I see that the Smoker has also turned around, and she is glaring at me.

I’m like, “huh?”

And she’s like, “Uh huh.” Her teeth were bared, her eyebrows were arched, and her cigarette was dangling from her sagging lips. It wasn’t a good look.

And of course, I would have liked to explain that I was not making an audible, judgmental statement on her choice to inhale toxic chemicals. I was just drinking a smoothie and had a little tickle, and I just needed to clear my larynx.

But then she was gone.

People sure get hyper about stupid stuff… Don’t be one of them.


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