The Toilet Seat Cover

So I’m at work, and I’m in the kitchen getting a drink of water like I always do… no big whoop. I’m just filling up my water glass, shooting the breeze with a co-worker, when a guy walks in and goes over to the kitchen sink.

At first I don’t really take notice of this guy, because there are a lot of people in this world and I find it very hard to take notice of all of them.

As I look around the room (as one does), I see it… a toilet seat cover, tucked into his pants/bum, like a lobster bib at McCormick & Schmick’s.

I don’t know this guy, at all. I work for a large company. I have never seen this guy before, and I have no idea where he sits (except the toilet, obvs). This guy is very non-descript. I could not pick this guy out of a line-up. All I know about him was that he was wearing clothes, and he was a he – unless he was a she (it’s hard to tell from the back).

Anyway, I see the toilet seat cover attached to his pants/bum and I think to myself: “This guy is walking around with a toilet seat cover attached to his pants/bum.”

I cover my face/mouth/eyes to muffle the laughter, and by the time I look up… he’s gone.

There was nothing I could have done anyway (to save him from embarrassment, or the dreaded workplace nickname: “Hey, Toilet Seat Cover Guy, have you finished that report?”)

I mean, yes if it were me (it wouldn’t be me), then yes, I’d want someone to tell me (but it wouldn’t be me), so it’s really a non-issue issue.

Things to keep in mind…

  1. There were other people around… Lots! (at least two.) Therefore, it was not my sole responsibility to tell this guy that he had a toilet seat cover attached to his pants/bum.
  1. There is a “bro code” which is a set of rules that “bros” abide by, which include (but is not limited to) telling other “bros” that they have a toilet seat cover attached to their pants/bum (this is according to the “bro”/co-worker I just discussed this incident with). I’m not a “bro”, nor have I ever been a “bro” so I can’t be expected to follow such a code. Also: the other two people present were both “bros”.
  1. Personal responsibility lies with the individual. I think Ice Cube said it best when he said, “You better check yo self before you wreck yo self.”

And that my friends, is what happened today.


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