The Bitchy Resting Face

I have one.

And it’s unfortunate…

No, I’m not mad.

No, I didn’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed.

No, I’m not judging you (even though I definitely have cause).

And no, I don’t want to kill you (or even maim you).

It’s just my face.

I do not have a mirror on my person every day (or ever)… so it’s very hard for me to know what my face looks like to others, at any given moment.

I just assume that 10% of the time I have something in my nose, 40% of the time I have something in my teeth, and 25% of the time I have something in my nose and teeth.

However, 92% of the time I have something on my face: a neutral expression that some people might mistake for “bitchy”.

First of all, I’m not bitchy, and second of all, I have never been bitchy.

I’m the nicest person I know.

I just happen to have to have a face that suggests otherwise… a face that suggests that I might punch you if you get too close.

I won’t punch you.

(Please give me a reason to smile.)

+++

Okay, some people call it “resting bitch face” and some people call it “bitchy resting face.” I think the latter makes more sense because it suggests that your resting face is bitchy. “Resting bitch face” makes it sound like your bitchy face is taking a rest, which would mean that you’re smiling.

 

 

 

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