The Move

I have moved at least 35 times (!!!) in my short, youthful life – and it has never been fun.

Moving is never fun.

The idea that you pack up all of your things into boxes or bags, put them in a truck (or other large covered vehicle), and drive them somewhere else, and take them out of the truck (or other large covered vehicle) and then unpack all of the boxes and bags is unnatural and unpleasant.

I just moved house, and I hated it. I literally wanted to cry at least once a day. It is so painfully tedious not to mention exhausting (which now that I think of it, is actually worth mentioning).

I hate wrapping breakables in newspaper! I despise putting books in boxes! I loathe vacuuming the air from Space Bags! I also don’t like forwarding my mail.

It also takes me away from the things I want to be doing (petting dogs, baking bread, making out, whitening my teeth, googling).

I never want to move again! EVER!

NEVER. EVER. AGAIN.

But here’s the thing: I need everyone else in the world to agree to this.

I need every man, woman and child in the world to say, “I’m good” and just stay exactly where they are for eternity.

You live in a tiny (but extremely smelly) one-bed flat? Stay put!

You have a lovely grand house (that you’re having a hard time paying for)? Cling like ivy!

You live in an igloo (that is really quite melty at the moment)? Stick around. Winter is coming.

It only takes one person to say, “I wouldn’t mind a view,” or “my neighbor really creeps me out” and then suddenly it is like a game of dominoes… [insert suitable metaphor here].

Please, please (now I’m begging) stay exactly where you are… DO NOT disturb the balance, makes waves, or upset the apple cart*!

No more moving!

(Let’s all make it “a thing”.)

Thank you for your cooperation.

Sincerely,

Kim “No more moving” Manky

 

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* Apples should also get to stay exactly where they are (in the cart.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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