I like easy jokes, running short distances, Advil Liqui-Gel caps (“Rush real liquid relief”), and Netflix airing all 15 episodes of Arrested Development Season 4 in one go.
I am like most humans… I don’t like to wait.
I got an email last Thursday from Live Nation Events saying that my Bob Dylan VIP package had been shipped. It said my package included a Bob Dylan blanket (not a blanket made of Bob Dylans… but presumably a blanket that says, “Bob Dylan” on it).
There was a link to track the package. I clicked the link. It said my package was in Durham, North Carolina and the expected delivery date was Wednesday, August 14! It may as well have said never – because that’s how it felt.
American singer-songwriter Paula Cole hated waiting so much she wrote a song called “I Don’t Want to Wait”. I’m not sure whether Ms. Cole was referring to a dryer cycle, or a biopsy result, or a pizza… but whatever it was, I can sympathize.
On Friday, I clicked on the tracking link again, hoping that the delivery date had moved up. No dice.
Legendary adult-contemporary singer-songwriter Richard Marx (I didn’t even have to say his name, did I? You knew. When I said, “legendary adult-contemporary singer-songwriter” you just knew, didn’t you?) wrote a song about waiting called, “Right Here Waiting”. I don’t know whether Richard Marx was waiting for a job offer, or Guffman, or a pie to cool… but he seems really relaxed about it all. He’s like, “I’ll just be right over here, waiting.”
On Monday, I clicked the tracking link again hoping (praying) that that my package would be arriving sooner rather than later. I tried to channel Richard Marx and be patient about it, but inside I was crying.
British rock band The Kinks have a song that perfectly illustrates the way I felt about waiting for my package called, “Tired of Waiting for You”. It’s like Ray Davies got in a time machine and went to the future and travelled to Los Angeles and saw me standing by my front door waiting for the Fed Ex guy and saw the pain in my eyes and then penned the lyrics to the song:
I’m so tired / Tired of Waiting / Tired of waiting for you
It goes on…
Its your life / And you can do what you want / Do what you like /
But please don’t keep-a me waiting / Please don’t keep-a me waiting
By today (Wednesday) I was restless. I wanted to see the Bob Dylan blanket and feel its fibers on my cheek. I wanted to take the blanket to the beach and make people jealous. I also wanted to make the joke about it not being a blanket made of Bob Dylans.
After I thought about Bob Dylan for a while (and my joke) and his illustrious career and what a thrill it was to see him live in concert 11 days ago, I thought about the song that Bob Dylan wrote called “Can’t Wait”, and then I thought about how Bob Dylan really gets me because I can’t wait either.
I haven’t written a song about waiting, yet. But only because I don’t know how to write music or sing, or play an instrument, yet. If I could – I would definitely would write a song about waiting, because I hate waiting that much.
Anyway, the package finally arrived today. No more waiting!
Hold Your Horse 