The Full English

April 6th is this Sunday!

You might be thinking, “It is helpful to know that April 6th is this Sunday, but it doesn’t require an exclamation point.”

And to that I would say, “Yes, it does!!!!!!!!!!”

Because… April 6th is International Breakfast Day… a day devoted to celebrating the Full English Breakfast!

Just to clarify… It’s not the partial, inadequate, incomplete or ¾ English. It’s the Full English, and in case you are sheltered as a child and don’t know about other cultures and civilizations… The Full English is the name of a breakfast meal in England consisting of eggs, bacon, sausages, half a tomato, a flat mushroom, hash browns, baked beans, and occasionally, black pudding.

Note: The Full English should not be confused with the term Full Monty, which means to strip off every item of clothing.

If someone offers you the “Full Monty”, you should think very carefully about what you’re getting yourself into…

If someone offers you the “Full English”, you should also think very carefully about what you’re getting yourself into…

Eggs. At least two. Fried hard, in lard.

Bacon. Two or more strips. Anemic. Pale. Wobbly.

Sausage. Made of the bits of all the animals people don’t like, then encased in intestines.

Half a tomato. Cooked until quaggy. Why?

A flat mushroom. Of the earth (tastes like earth).

Hash browns. Okay, sure. (It’s potatoes. How can you go wrong?)

Baked beans. From a can.

Black pudding. Pork blood and oatmeal. Who was the first person to eat this?

The Full English is considered an iconic national dish of England, and dates back to the early 1800s, according to the England Breakfast Society. The breakfast table was an opportunity to display the wealth of the estate for the residents and guests (the Full Monty also displays something, but not wealth).

So, this Sunday (April 6th), go get your eggs, bacon, sausage, half a tomato, flat mushroom, hash browns, baked beans and black pudding ON!